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  • Deja Nycole

Know the Difference: Challengers & Supporters vs. Disputers & Enablers

Life is too short to have people in your inner circle and corner who do not help you elevate to the next level of success! It’s time we know the difference between individuals who challenge and support us versus dispute and enable us.


You. Yes, you! You need your ideas and efforts challenged by those closest to you. Someone who challenges you will demand you explain and justify your ideas. This is a positive trait we should seek out in our female relationships.


In order to be empowHERed, we need to be challenged! We should be able to justify our ideas and be pushed to utilize all of our talents to their full potential. This is a form of support. Those who support us advocate or will back our ideas because they believe in us and want us to succeed. In order for them to support us, they should be able to understand our ideas, even if they don’t always agree with them... (we don’t and won’t ever support ideas that infringe upon human rights, though) right?!


If the overarching conversations of the women in your life are positive, progressive, goal-oriented, and success-driven, these are more than likely challenging, empowHERing, and supportive relationships!


On the other hand, you may have experienced people who dispute every action or idea you have. Making what you do feel less than and attempts to turn everything into an argument. This is not a healthy relationship and you, sis, deserve better. There is a difference between challenging thoughts and shooting any and everything you have to say down. You have to respect yourself enough to walk away from these types of relationships! It’s never too late to form new, healthy bonds and friendships.


Finally, be aware of people who enable you into activities you know you shouldn’t participate in. We all have dysfunctional and potentially self-destructive behaviors and habits. People who continuously encourage these types of behaviors do not need to be around you, there is something in them that needs to be healed because they are supporting the wrong types of behaviors.


When we enable negative activities and behaviors, we take away time that we could be working toward life-giving activities, life patterns, and relationships. Your circle and corner should not be filled with enablers, rather supporters. Someone who enables cares little about the success or well-being of others and more about seeing the destruction around them thrive. Again, sis, you deserve way more!


I’m so grateful to have met so many beautiful women along my journey where we’re able to mutually challenge, empowHER, and support each other into greatness. The majority of these women I met in my undergraduate years at High Point University, becoming some of my closest and best friends along my life’s journey. There is no limit to the variety and value of bonds and relationships you can make, make sure that as you mature, so do your relationships and conversations.


Every person that comes across your path has a purpose. Be receptive and practice discernment so you are aware of who challenges and supports you or disputes and enables you. Strive for life-giving bonds in every area of life. Remember, what you expect you should be able to give in return, don’t forget to challenge and support others too!


Be empowHERed to empowHER… More powHER to you!


Peace. Love. Blessings.

Deja Nycole



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